Coffee Break(ing) News: March 13, 2014

Quote of the Day:

“There’s too much information and confusion right now. It is very hard for us to decide whether a given piece of information is accurate”. -Qin Gang: Chinese Foreign Ministry Spokesman in regards to flight 370.

We Are Now Beginning Our Initial Decent Into Nowhere:

The agony for the families of Flight 370’s passengers continues as they still do not know what happened to their loved ones. The search continues, but since the last known location of the jet is under debate, the search area is incredibly large and unlikely to produce any results soon.

(The home screen on DigitalGlobe’s website)

And The Amazing Race Starts Now!

Bored at home and want to help find the missing jet? A company called, DigitalGlobe, is trying to outsource their satellite feed to anyone who wants to scourer the computer generated images for any signs of the missing jet. There was so much initial traffic to their website that it actually crashed when they announced the opportunity. AKA: Everyone wants to be the person to find the missing jet.

Pyramid Say What?

After several accusations of Herbalife being a pyramid scheme, the FTC has finally opened a formal investigation into their stock-trading practices. The announcement has had two reactions from brokers on Wall Street: either they are surprised or running around yelling “I told you so”. Either way, there will sure be some market volatility due to the investigation.

GM In The Spotlight: 

General Motors is being investigated by the Justice Department in regards to their failure to fix safety issues in their own vehicles. This is not some joke investigation where they will pay a fine, the upper-level management can be facing criminal charges.

Why So Serious? 

After 10 years of reported safety issues and 12 deaths, GM failed to make an actual effort to stop the dangers. As of last month, GM recalled only 1.6 million vehicles: that means that management has been pretty lazy. The Justice Department has a simple line of questioning: why did GM not change things after their products were leading to peoples deaths? Heavy stuff.

Quick Fire Updates:

SXSW Tragedy: Last night at the South by Southwest technology conference in Austin, a drunk driver plowed through a crowd and killed two pedestrians. This is devastating to the progressive feeling of the conference as it reminds people that they cannot outsmart stupidity.

(Aftermath of the SXSW car accident)

Harlem has our hearts: After a gas leak caused an explosion and subsequently a building to collapse in Harlem yesterday, the death toll is up to six people. All of Harlem is shaken by the unexpected tragedy.

I think we should talk..Secretary of State, John Kerry is planned to meet with Russia on Friday to try and settle some of their relationship issues. This is the US’s last ditch attempt to stop Russia from trying to take Crimea away from Ukraine.

david.c.ohair@gmail.com

March 13, 2014

Coffee Break(ing) News: March 12, 2014

Quote of the Day: 

“The marks on the door are actually consistent with him not having his legs on and I suspect they must be similar to the height that he was when he fired the shots”-Forensic Expert Vermeulen stated in regards to Oscar Pistorius’s defense story.

If NYC was not already dangerous enough:

Early this morning, two buildings located in East Harlem, NYC exploded after a gas leak became deadly. Two people were immediately killed in the explosion and 18 others were seriously injured. Oh, and dozens more are still missing.

(The aftermath of the building collapse)

Someone Forgot To Do Their Job:

Right after the explosion, the gas company went on record saying that they had just been notified of the leak 15 minutes before the explosion. However, the residents of the building are saying that they have been reporting the suspicious gas smell for several weeks now.

Raise Your Hand If You Vote Russia, Keep Your Hand Down If You Vote Russia:

On Sunday the residents of Crimea will be voting on what to do in regards to their future identity. Right now their options are not very diverse: either they vote to join Russia or they vote to become independent and then join Russia. Crimea ❤ Russia.

(Putin really likes the odds of gaining Crimea soon)

Ukraine Is The Odd Country Out:

Things are a bit awkward in Ukraine as part of their country has approved a Declaration of Independence..apart from having Nicholas Cage steal their declaration there is not much Ukraine can do to stop it. Meanwhile, Russia is pre-gaming their victory that will most likely be delivered on Sunday.

This Plane Delay Is Ridiculous: 

*Spoiler Alert* Still nobody knows what happened to flight 370. There are searches taking place still to find the plane and passengers. The Malaysian military claimed they saw the flight way off-course, but then they said they did not: seems a bit flighty..too soon?

Quick Fire Updates:

Canada said sorry and left: Canada ended its mission with NATO involving Afghanistan that lasted for nearly 12 years. The troops finally picked up their hockey sticks, toasted their maple syrup flasks and rode their moose back to the Great White North.

Hey brah, pass me some protein powder: The company, Herbalife has just started being investigated by the FTC. This has caused some unsettled feeling at HQ and some employees are getting roid-rage from the investigation.

  david.c.ohair@gmail.com

March 12, 2014

Coffee Break(ing) News: March 11, 2014

Quote of the Day:

“I am not taking it lightly”-Senator Feinstein in regards to allegations that the CIA spied on Congress computers.

Still Waiting For The Seatbelt Sign To Turn Off?

While you do that, the world is still waiting to find out what actually happened to flight MH370 which disappeared in-route to Beijing on Saturday. Passenger’s families and curious on-lookers are still waiting for answers, even if they are not containing a happy ending to this episode of Lost. 

Did Google Maps Make A Mistake?

Dozens of boats and planes have been searching for this missing jet, however there is new information that makes the search ever more confusing. The Malaysian military believe they tracked the jet hundreds of miles off course over the Strait of Malacca right before the jet completely disappeared. Either the pilots need to learn how to read a map or there is a high suspicion of foul-play..#scandal.

Thanks For Not Sending Me An E-Vite…

There are several complaints being thrown at the CIA this past week regarding the fact that they are being accused of snooping through Congress members emails and computers. As unacceptable as it is to search through your significant others email account, this internet crime might be a tad more serious and awkward to talk about later. 

Feinstein Be Tripping?

Sen. Feinstein is the voice that brought up this whole CIA issue. She is saying that they broke the constitution by spying. The ironic factor? The CIA is accused of spying on the Senate Intelligence Committee. What defense did the CIA have for these practices? Well, we are the CIA…so yah.

Russia Be Quiet, You’re Causing A Scene.

Russia does not like Western society..Ukraine likes Western society..Russia likes Ukraine. If that is not the most confusing three-way you have ever heard of then you are wrong. Russia holds the stance that the preliminary government in Ukraine is not legitimate and that it is their mission to liberate the people of Crimea. (pst. Crimea is a part of the Ukraine). 

We Are All Standing In Sarah Palin’s Backyard Watching Russia:

The entire international community is keeping a close eye on Russia and the Ukraine. Why? Well,  NATO, EU and United Nations would like to stay out of WWIII/Cold War II. However, Russia backed its troops out of Crimea because they were drawing to many dirty looks from the United States.

Rapid Fire Updates:

The Bachelor Finale: Juan Pablo made the show have  twist ending. The big finale was him asking his girlfriend to keep dating him? Yah, you heard it right. No ring, no love, no fireworks. 

Comedian Zach Galifianakis interviewed POTUS: This terribly awkward interview consisted of questions like: “How does it feel to be the last black President” and “Will your presidential library be in Kenya”? Someone is getting their White House press pass revoked. However, this publicity stunt successfully drew many new visitors to healthcare.gov. POTUS has to use a comedian to reach the youth. ‘Merica.

Congressional All-Nighter! As lame as that sounds it does get worse. Two Dozen Senators stayed up all night debating about climate change..What came of it? Surprisingly no one cared. Never would have seen that one coming. 

Hemingway Drives My Hormones Crazy: An old “sexy” letter authored by Ernest Hemingway is set to go to auction with a starting bid of $50,000. One can only hope that this letter is an extension to his work, A Farewell to Arms. Possibly the sequel, A Farewell to Clothes? 

david.c.ohair@gmail.com

March 11, 2014

 

 

Coffee Break(ing) News–March 10, 2014

Quote of the Day:

“No one will give up Crimea to anyone”  -Arseniy Yatsenyuk: Ukraine’s new Prime Minister.

The Most Boring Club Meeting Ever?

The Conservative Political Action Convention took place this last weekend in Maryland. This gathering brought together all the main conservative political players to brainstorm the lyrics to their team song and to host a presidential nominee straw poll.

Who Got Voted The Conservatives Prom Queen?

Rand Paul got to wear the Conservative’s tiara as he won the straw poll with 31% of the vote. With this majority victory people will want to keep a look-out for Paul trying to take the White House’s crown in 2016. Some other results from the straw poll: Ted Cruz, cruised into second with 11%, Dr. Ben Carson claims the bronze medal with 9% of the vote. However, the main player to look out for was Sarah Palin who got a huge 2% of the vote…she kindly took the hint and flew back to Alaska.

(Rand Paul smooth-talking his way to a 31% straw poll victory)

First Class or Not, You’re Missing.

Early Saturday morning a Boeing 777 flying for Malaysian Airlines simply vanished somewhere between Vietnam and Malaysia. The flight was carrying 239 passengers including both Americans and small children.

Uncertainties:

There are many unknown factors that are being considered in this investigation. There was never a distress call from the cockpit, the weather was perfect for flying and no plane wreckage has been found anywhere in the flight path. The most likely plot is that the plane crashed into the sea and the plane’s fuselage has sunk, however, there are still too many unknowns to come to a conclusion.

(Travel route of the flight)

Who are you?

One of the most confusing aspects of the investigation is that there were two passengers that boarded the plain with stolen passports…Not suspicious at all. The airline is still trying to figure out who these two unknown passengers were and if they possibly participated in any foul-play that caused the plane to disappear.

Quick Fire Updates:

Oscar Pistorius Murder Trial: South African Court is over a week into the trial of the supposed accidental killing of Pistorius’s girlfriend last Valentines Day. On Monday, Pistorius started sobbing and vomited during the testimony regarding his girlfriend’s wounds that killed her. The Court had to take a recess so Pistorius could collect himself.

Ukraine? No, Mykraine: Putin may be getting ready to move on from Ukraine. There are rumors that Russia’s Security Council has entered into settlement talks with Ukraine. These talks have the objective to take all of Ukraine’s citizens point-of-view into account. NATO is not convinced: they have deployed a monitoring jet to keep watch over Ukraine’s boarder.

Do you guys accept Bitcoin? After the suicide of young CEO and Bitcoin marketer, Autumn Radtke, the Bitcoin market has seen some questionable days. The market has been volatile and there has been an intensified search for who actually invented the Bitcoin. People are looking for answer and it might be a simple one: online currency is not the way to go.

Still no love for the NSA…At the South by Southwest technology conference this past week, both Edward Snowden and Jullian Assange criticized the NSA’s surveillance practices and wanted to make sure that the country did not forget about the crimes the NSA committed. So, in other words, refrain from sending racy text-messages still.

March 10, 2014

david.c.ohair@gmail.com

Coffee Break(ing News)–March 4, 2014

Quote of the Day:

“To deny people their human rights is to challenge their very humanity”. -Nelson Mandela 

The Olympics May Have Just Finished, But The Games Have Just Begun:

Russia decided that it wanted to get cozy with Crimea, so they skipped dating and decided to move right in.

Details:

While Crimea is part of Ukraine the majority of the residents strongly identify with Russian ideology. Russia’s Parliament sent the go-ahead for the use of force across the whole of Ukraine. Taking bets on how long Russia can play nice. Why Russia is being a bully? Recently, Ukraine threw out their former president who was extremely pro-Russia: Russia lost their friend and they are sad.

The Rest Of The World Is Giving Russia The Silent Treatment:

The United States froze all of Russia’s assets in their reach and have halted all military connections with Putin. President Obama is looking to gain some world-leader points back with this aggressive stance.

Oscar Pistorius’s Murder Trial: 

Pistorius, 27, began trial where he is being charged for the premeditated murder of his then girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp; the incident occurred on Feb. 14th, 2013.

(Pistorius on Mar. 3rd: Appearing for the start of the trial)

Tragic Accident or Argument Turned Deadly?

Prosecution: They are saying that Pistorius and Reeva were fighting at 2 a.m. when things took a violent turn. Assumptions are painting a picture that Reeva locked herself in the bathroom to hide from an enraged Pistorius. He then, grabbed his handgun and proceeded to fire four shots through the bathroom door and successfully killing Reeva in the process.

Defense: Pistorius is claiming that at 2 a.m. he was convinced that an intruder was in his bathroom with the intentions to hurt himself and Reeva. He did not have his prosthetic legs on, lending to him feeling vulnerable, which caused him to retrieve his handgun. In an act of self-proclaimed self-defense, Pistorius fired four shots through the door and killing who he believed was the intruder. Only after he returned to the bedroom to check on Reeva did the true facts of the situation dawn on him.

Concerns About The Trial? Mmmm, maybe a few.

There are few eyebrows being raised about this case: tough judge with possible bias, no eye-witnesses and celebrity treatment. What to think about when you’re contemplating committing a crime against a woman in South Africa? Better not. South Africa has been increasingly been tougher on convictions for all crimes against women in order to combat their viciously violent Republic. Pistorius may have to use those Olympic sprinting legs of his to fight this uphill battle during the entirety of the trial.

One glass of bubbly too much? Oh well, it is the Oscars.

Bullet Points:

-Best Picture and most likely to make Americans feel terrible? 12 Years a Slave.

-Frozen won an oscar, can we stop hearing about it now?

-Lucky #7: Gravity took home seven awards and made us all remember that space is the safest when seen from Earth.

-Leonardo Decaprio awkwardly hugged Matthew McConaughey and pretended not be sad for again not winning an Oscar.

-Ellen Degeneres was a fabulous host and now has the most retweeted tweet ever, passing Barack Obama’s next most popular tweet. Step aside, leader of the free world.

In less than 24-hours, Ellen’s picture got retweeted over 3 million times. Let that sink in.

Take A Cab The Next Few Days:

Devastation struck the Kunming Railway Station in southwest China on March 1st. Ten disguised attackers who wielded knives, mobbed the crowd who were waiting for their train to arrive and went on a killing frenzy.

Damage:

In the end 29 people were killed and 143 injured to various degrees. The heart of the world holds China close.

Reasons:

As of now, no group has officially taken responsibility for this attack. However, China believes that the group was from the Xinjiang region of China’s western parts. Speculations have been drawn that the attack was in rebuttal to China trying to settle ethnic tensions in that region as of late.

david.c.ohair@gmail.com